A Witch's Road Less Travelled

January 2019

What do people look for in witchcraft?
Does it fulfil a spiritual need that can no longer be fulfilled by mainstream religions?
Is it about the feeling that you are part of a unique tribe of like minded thinkers?
Is it rebellion against society and it's pigeon holing of people?
For women, it may be a place that is empowering to them as it focuses on the feminine.

My dedication to the road less travelled saved my sanity about 30 years ago.
I was looking for a harbour in the shit storm that was my life.

My relationship was an abusive shambles.
I had a young baby.
I had been bullied all my life for being fat and not pretty enough.
I had no idea of how to stand up to myself.
I had no self esteem.
I'd come out of anorexia.
I was a mess.
And most of those problems were of my own making.
Grasping at straws.


I floated in and out of witchcraft as it was just too hard to combat renouncing my Catholicism whilst still in my marriage. My strict Catholic parents, who had kept me on a tight structured leash my whole life, still had a huge unhealthy influence on me even into my 20's.

I had been bought up in the times when you were to be 'seen, but not heard' and it was no big deal to feel the back hand from your father if you dared speak up or talk back.

Witchcraft was something that I had been interested in since I could pick up books.
My background is Eastern European - pagan roots were deeply embedded in my soul.
It felt like home and I could not understand why my parents taught me some of the old ways, but did not want me to believe in them.
It was just for 'show'.
It allowed for others of my nationality to have a festival day - but then we went back to our Christian ways.

All I had to do was find my way back.
It was going to happen.
I promised myself that - there would come a time when I was free to be me.

That chaotic time of my life built space, as it totally destroyed me.
That destruction allowed for rebuilding.
It tore up the paperwork that was my life.
Within that heartache I didn't believe in anything.
God allowed this pain?
Yes - we were meant to suffer because we were born of original sin.
This was not for me.
I could not take another step forward with this mindset.


The rebuilding finally came when I relinquished all connections with my Catholic upbringing and stopped being scared of the consequences of what would happen (lovely Catholic guilt - as I call it).

As I left my marriage and stepped foot onto a lonely road on my own, I still heard, in my head, the voices of my parents who said to me "you made your bed - you can sleep in it" when I asked them for help.

A good Catholic girl didn't divorce - what a scandal on the family!
I was unfit.
I could not even keep a marriage together - you just stayed married no matter how hard life was.
My mother was horrified.
She had lived in a dysfunctional marriage - so should I.

I dove deeply into paganism and witchcraft and into learning about the darkness that many people don't touch - the dark side of the psyche.

I dove into trying to understand how I got to where I was and how I was going to get out of that incredibly painful place.

I started to put myself together.

Re-crafting my life was secret.

I did not venture out publicly for another 10 years. I joined a local witch meetup group.
I felt welcomed and at home.
 I bought the crystals and the cape - I attended rituals and learnt to be a witch within a public setting.
It was painful.
There were people here who could hurt as much as what I encountered in my own marriage.
I persisted.
Topics discussed never ventured beyond 'white magic'.
That was fine but I needed more.
I was stuck in a witchcraft that did not seem genuine to me - it lacked depth.
I needed it to build character and fortitude, not just give me a full draw of crystals and a pile of pretty books.

I was still in a turbulent ocean and sinking.

I needed an anchor - not a life buoy.
I needed to dive deep down and discover what was underneath the waves not just keep floating on the top.

I rarely found personal stories to read.
Mostly, what material was available, was about the same subjects just in a different orders - the wheel of the year, different uses for crystals, basic spell work, dreams etc.

Then I found tarot.

Tarot allowed me to use my mind to explore the psychology of each card and to translate the pictures going deeper and deeper.
I could see my life in the cards.
All of the things I had been through were there.
My life in those cards.

I now knew which path to take and as those cards and witchcraft led me to a deeper understanding of all things.

When the student is ready the teacher appears.

So very true.

Maybe, my thought is that, that some of my lessons may be useful to you too - so I hope to share more during the coming months.

Maybe you too are after something a little meatier?

Let me know.

Otherwise, I am just writing for my own therapy - and that's OK too.

How do I know that I am a witch?

I have seen many of these type of questions most recently on different sites specifically sent in by new ones on this journey or those who may feel ill equipped to tackle sites, spaces and covens filled with groups of people who are not making it clear as to the 'criteria' involved in their view of what it is to be a witch.

Now, before you go all crazy arse on me for that statement, I want to make it clear that I do not believe that there are special criteria involved in 'becoming' a man or woman on this path.

There are too many groups who make it hard.
Too many steps and too many ritualistic bridges to cross.
I know that for many starting up covens and groups may be the right way to go and if that is you tread carefully.
Choose a group that treats everyone equally and doesn't allow internal conflict.

Wicca has elements of structure that I no longer wish to follow (although, I will say, that it was a part of my life for many years until the women in these covens showed me their true souls and I left time and time again) and also, leaving that behind was a required part of my evolution to get me to where I find myself now.


No one can really make you a witch just as no one can make you a Catholic.
You can go through rituals in both.
You can be born into a family of witches or Catholics (or any other religious belief) but, because you call yourself one - are you really?

You can only be whatever you choose to call yourself if you, yourself give yourself totally to that path.

If you are feeling called to identify as a witch then blessings to you - Goddess knows we need more of you right now.
There is great change afoot.
We are all unravelling.
We are falling apart to make space for the great work of rebuilding.

The Earth and the energies of this planet MUST be protected by us.
So, if you are up for this challenge and do want to follow this road, be prepared to stand up and ACT.

No fluffy shit.
No mindless following of others without questioning.

Prepare to be singular.
To be strong in the face of all adversity and ridicule.

Prepare to be the change you want to see.

Walk your talk.

If you identify as a witch then act like one.

Keep it simple and stay silent.

No one needs to know what is in your heart and STOP ASKING IF YOU ARE ONE.
Do not second guess what your ancestors are calling you to do.
Not everyone hears these whispers -if YOU DO, you have been chosen.

I know what those whispers sound like - they are a drum that does not shut up until you say "yes".

If your soul is crying out to you then listen to it.

Read good material.
Follow leaders who are not enmeshed in ego or ask you to turn cartwheels to fit into their views or their covens.

Do not do anything you are uncomfortable in doing just to belong.

YOU ALREADY BELONG TO THE GREAT ANCESTRY OF ALL OF THOSE THAT CAME BEFORE YOU.

You are hearing the whispers.

And that is OK.

Take an oath, personally , quietly, to follow this path for a year and a day and so so with total and absolute commitment.
There does not need to be a ritual.
You do not require a song and dance - if you choose not to.
Just a space in time when you answer the call.

Then, make up your mind if you have been a 'witch', if you have lived by the truths you feel belong to that ethos. Have you become the person you are proud to be, have you helped others, have you made a change in who you live and walk upon this Earth.

Have you healed yourself or begun to.
Has it made you feel whole?

May your journey be sweet dear ones and let's change the world together.